Are you a bad friend?

 Ever since the new year started, I've been in this mood where I just don't care much. I used to really care about losing people, jobs, stuff, etc. I'm not scared anymore of what I don't have or what I lose. Previously in my friendships, I used to deal with all of the negativity that came with them instead of being confrontational and saying "I don't like when you do this" or "I feel like you can be doing better in your life." As we all know people love to say they want real friends until you actually tell them something about themselves that they don't want to hear. For instance, I lost yet another friend right after the new year that I thought would be my friend forever and it hurt my feelings at first until I noticed that they were doing certain things on purpose. I never miss anything important in my friends' lives. IDC if it is just a dinner you planned to celebrate you having a good week, I'm SHOWING UP FOR YOU. I noticed that every single friend that I've had has NEVER shown up for me. I would plan birthdays, girl trips, dinners, and more and no one will ever come but invite me to all of their events. I come to events with gifts and good energy but every time I planned something it was always just my family there. I'm tired of being labeled the "real friend" only because I'm showing up for somebody. I'm tired of being the "real friend" because I'm doing something for someone. I need a "real friend" too and some girlies just DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW TO DO THAT. I treat my relationships with men just about the same way I do with friends. I have boundaries and expect you to show up for me the same way I do for you. Of course, things happen and some things are out of our control but something ALWAYS happens when it's time for you to show support for your friends? yeahhhhhh, nooooo. I always voice any problems that I have with my friends to them personally. Well, that's usually when it goes sour. When you voice the issues with your friends and they dismiss your feelings or do not take any accountability, then that is grounds for termination in my opinion. There hasn't been a time where my friends have came to me and told me I've hurt their feelings without me taking accountability and changing my behavior. I know I'm not a perfect person and even though my intentions are always pure that doesn't mean that I didn't hurt someone's feelings or could've been a better friend. Friendships take real work and patience but don't be a fool. If your girlfriends come to you about something you did please hear them out and make a change. It's okay to make mistakes and own up to them. Change your behavior and treat your friends better instead of acting weird after they tell you something that you don't like. Everyone is not going to agree with you and as an adult, you should be able to handle that constructive criticism and move forward gracefully with your girlfriend. Now if you've put in the work it takes and made the changes and they're still acting funny with you then cut the friendship off. It doesn't have to end in a heated argument or you both being disrespectful towards one another. Of course, the other person will always make themselves look good when telling their side of the story but you can't do anything about that. The only thing you can do is know that you gave that friendship your all but it's time to move forward with your life. Think about the lessons you've learned from that relationship and apply them to your life moving forward. Friendship breakups hurt just about the same as romantic relationships but you got this. From one girlie to the next please be a good friend, not a perfect friend <3